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Bits of Humor

Burlington Weekly Free Press · February 18, 1876

A grab-bag of newspaper filler jokes and anecdotes from 1876 — a Mississippi bride, a Danbury funeral squabble, and a moonlit courtship gone wrong — preserved here as a window into the era's small talk and humor columns.

Schools Reopen

The Austin Weekly Statesman · January 7, 1897 · Austin, Texas

A one-line notice that Austin's public schools, the State University and private schools resumed classes after the holidays.

Abuses Charged at Preston School of Industry

Mesa Free Press · November 19, 1897 · Ione, California

A Sacramento Bee exposé alleged brutal paddle floggings of boys at a California reform school, sparking local outrage and denials from the accused superintendent.

COLORADO'S SHAME

San Antonio Daily Light · March 22, 1895 · Buena Vista, Colorado

An investigative report exposes torture and financial disorder at a Colorado state reformatory, describing prisoners hung by their wrists until unconscious — a brutal, largely erased chapter in American penal history.

HOPE FOR SEWARD AT PRESENT

Omaha Daily Bee 187?-1922 · April 21, 1895 · Honolulu, Hawaii

A dispatch on Hawaiian exiles seeking to return home, a Pittsburgh lawyer's bid to win clemency for a condemned man named Seward, and rumors of arms smuggling into Oahu amid political unrest — a vivid glimpse of Hawaii's turbulent post-revolution years.

A Curious Discovery Concerning Blood and Salt

The Morning Star And Catholic Messenger · June 16, 1872

A French physician's chance observation of a butcher salting pig's blood led to a startling reduction in yellow fever deaths among troops in the West Indies—an obscure but consequential medical discovery worth remembering.

Final Dividend

The Evening Bulletin · June 23, 1900 · Cincinnati, Ohio

The closing chapter of the Fidelity National Bank collapse, whose president's wheat speculation and subsequent imprisonment had gripped Cincinnati years earlier.

Cowan Declines to Talk

The Evening Bulletin · June 23, 1900 · Muncie, Indiana

A minor figure in the Charles F. W. Neely postal fraud scandal in Cuba stonewalls reporters about disguised shipments made through his Indiana printing company.

Butcher Murders Priest, Then Beheads Him at Own Funeral

Burlington Weekly Free Press · February 13, 1885 · Gibraltar, Gibraltar

A gruesome follow-up crime in which a butcher, suspected of already having killed a Catholic vicar, burst into a room during the funeral and beheaded the body.

Federal Reserve Note Counterfeited

Omaha Daily Bee 187?-1922 · February 21, 1915 · Dallas, Texas

The Secret Service announces the very first known counterfeit of a federal reserve note, a crudely made fake $5 bill from the Dallas reserve bank, just months after the new currency system began.

To Cut Off Bucket Shops

The Evening Bulletin · June 23, 1900 · Chicago, Illinois

A court ruling strips Western Union of its role distributing Chicago grain prices, part of the Board of Trade's fight to starve illegal bucket-shop gambling of market data.

Killed by His Brother

Fergus County Argus · August 29, 1905 · Fort Benton, Montana

A seven-year-old Montana boy was accidentally shot dead by his twelve-year-old brother while their parents were away, and the surviving children were left alone with the body for hours — a grim rural tragedy from the Benton area.

A Vicious Murder

San Antonio Daily Light · March 22, 1895 · Leavenworth, Kansas

A prison turnkey is fatally tomahawked by an Indian convict already serving a murder sentence, in a sudden and unexplained act of violence inside the Kansas state prison.

Missouri to Go

The Austin Weekly Statesman · December 24, 1896 · Austin, Texas, USA

A promoter organizes an elaborate holiday excursion pairing the University of Missouri football team against Texas squads and introducing American football to Mexico, with games to be presided over by a state governor and President Porfirio Díaz.

ENGLISH BRUTALITY

The Morning Star And Catholic Messenger · April 10, 1870 · England

A harrowing account, reprinted from an English paper, of a husband's fatal beating of his wife and the son who tried in vain to save her — a stark record of ordinary domestic violence largely forgotten to history.

CLEVEREST IN THE WORLD IS CAPTURED

Daily Inter Mountain · April 11, 1901 · Chicago, Illinois

A notorious international counterfeiter, wanted by both the U.S. and Swedish governments, was recaptured after a jailbreak in which an accomplice's accordion-playing masked the sound of sawing through bars — a story stranger than fiction from the golden age of counterfeiting.

Live Stock in Danger

Daily Inter Mountain · April 11, 1901 · Denver, Colorado

Denver reports on the same storm system, warning that a hard freeze could crust the deep snow and strand grazing cattle and sheep across the plains.

Vessels Not Liable

Daily Inter Mountain · April 11, 1901 · Chicago, Illinois

A federal appeals court ruling on a Lake Michigan collision established that ships themselves could not be held liable for deaths caused by negligence—only their owners could be sued.