In General

A man and wife in New Jersey daily sit down to their family dinner together, but each in a different town. They vary their meals with such remarks as "My love, will you please propel the gravy bowl into South Orange?" or, "Hubby dear, another slice of that roast beef over in Orangetown, please?"

A clergyman of a country village church desired to give notice that there would be no service in the afternoon, as he was going to officiate for another clergyman. The clerk, as soon as the service was finished, rose up with due solemnity, and cried out, "I am requested to give notice that there will be no service this afternoon, as Mr. L. is going fishing with another clergyman."

Smidkins writes from Florida that this crocodile mania is not what it is cracked up to be. Last week he shot at one, and it ate the bullet and then chased him to the hotel piazza. He lost his hat and waded in water to his armpits, ruining his watch. The white muslin ladies eating oranges on the piazza were very rude, and laughed immoderately and called Smidkins Du Chaillu in disguise.

A young lady in Lawrence, Kan., dropped her handkerchief in the street, and it blew close to the dangerous end of a mule. The young man who picked it up will not send her his photo for a few days, as he doesn't look well with his chin under his ear.

A Schenectady man couldn't take a job at sawing wood because he hadn't a saw. When some one gave him a saw he couldn't raise money enough to have it filed. When he got over that difficulty he had no sawbuck, and sat down and wept and became entirely discouraged.

A Boston grocer was telling a newspaper man that it was simply throwing away money to advertise, when the sheriff came in and shut up the store. Retribution is always loafing around.— Detroit Free Press.

It is said that a Virginia man, who has lately had delirium tremens, saw angels instead of snakes, and now all the saloons in the place where he lives are fighting over the honor of having sold him [...]